The Accident
by JMS529
Summary: Written for Secret Snowflake on LJ. Marshall and Mary are driving home from a witness transger when Mary swerves to miss a hedgehog in the road. Prompt Mary, Marshall, Stan Blame it on the hedgehog.


**The Accident**

Mary and Marshall sat on the bumper of the SUV waiting for Stan to arrive to pick them up. Mary kept glancing at Marshall to make sure that he was okay. She had tried to convince him to let the paramedics take him to the hospital, but he refused. Mary knew that it was because he knew that somehow he would get blamed for the accident if he wasn't there, and he refused to allow that to happen.

"You know you probably should have gone with the ambulance. Stan is going to take one look at you and make you go anyways," Mary said, softly. She was worried Marshall was mad at her and technically he should be.

"I'm fine, but I refuse to write up the report and put my name on it for this one. You're going to do the paperwork and be happy about it. No complaining, whining or bitching about it. Don't even think about slipping it on my desk or try to get me to take blame for the accident. You were driving and you're going to be the adult on this one."

"You're mad at me. Don't try and deny it because you just swore and you don't do that."

"Of course I'm mad. I now have a pounding headache, a sprained wrist and a bruise that resembles the seatbelt on my body because you were not paying attention, driving too fast, and fiddling with the radio controls. After messing with all of that you decided to pay attention to the road, just in time to see a hedgehog, panic and ran us off the road. Once you left the road, you managed to kill a cactus and stop just in time to manage to not send us off a cliff. Why would I be upset?"

"I didn't want to kill it," Mary defended.

"No you opted to try and kill us instead. Silly me for not seeing the positive side in all of this."

"The hedgehog is still alive," Mary tried.

"I'm thrilled."

Mary hated when Marshall was angry at her. Usually he would just let things roll of his back. This normally would be one of those things, but he had asked her if she was tired and wanted him to drive the rest of the way or to stop for the night. She had adamantly refused to let him drive and insisted that she was fine. If he drove it would take longer and she just wanted to get back, fill out the rest of the witness transfer paperwork and go home so she could take a bath, have a glass of wine and relax in the silence of her own home.

Mary was about to answer when Stan showed up.

"Are you two okay? What happened?" Stan asked concerned.

"I'll let Goldilocks tell you. She's good at fables. I'll be in the SUV if you need me," Marshall said, as he headed off towards Stan's car.

"What's with Marshall?" Stan asked Mary.

"Apparently someone has been sleeping in his bed," Mary replied, sarcastically.

"Let me rephrase that. What did you do? I'm assuming you were driving," Stan said pinching the bridge of his nose. He had a feeling this would be a hell of a story.

"Of course I was. Why else would he be mad?" Mary replied angrily.

"Does he need to go to the hospital?"

"I think he should. He's just tired, sore and irritable and mad because I should have listened to him and didn't. I know he'll feel bad when he's feeling better."

"So what happened?"

"We were coming back from Idaho after dropping off Parker Lloyd. Marshall had driven all the way there and I wanted to let him rest up while we drove back."

"In short form you were in a hurry and didn't feel like driving the speed limit."

"Who's telling the story here?" Mary asked irritably. She hated that Stan knew them so well.

"By all means inspector."

"Marshall slept for the first six hours and offered to drive the rest of the way since I hadn't slept in awhile. I told him no. He drove the whole way there and I could drive all the way back. We didn't need to stop in a hotel."

"You do realize that it is a fifteen hour drive one way?"

"Oddly enough, I do. Anyways, as we got closer to home I was starting to get tired so I turned on the a/c, tried to find louder music and was messing with the volume when I looked up and there was something in the middle of the road. I swerved to miss it and the SUV hit something that caused the vehicle to pull off the road. Marshall of course woke up after he hit his head on the side of the window and right before I killed the cactus and managed to stop before the edge of the cliff," Mary said pointing at the area in front of the SUV.

"What was in the middle of the road?" Stan asked, thinking it has to be something big.

"A hedgehog," Mary whispered.

"What was that?"

"A hedgehog, okay. It was a hedgehog."

"You mean to tell me that I need to blame it on the hedgehog? Seriously Mary? No wonder your partner is mad at you. An elk, moose or deer sized animal, I get. A hedgehog is little. Do you know how little they are?"

Mary rolled her eyes. She didn't need this lecture a second time.

"The average length of a hedgehog is eight to nine inches, have an average of five thousand to six thousand five hundred quills and weigh on average nine to nineteen ounces according to the walking trivia master."

"Let's just go home. A tow truck will pick up the SUV. Grab your bag and I'll get Marshall's."

Stan and Mary headed towards the SUV and at first glance Marshall wasn't in the vehicle. They both were scanning the area, but didn't see him anywhere. As they neared the vehicle Mary saw Marshall lying across the backseat with his arm over his eyes. Knowing he hit his head pretty good, Mary quickly threw her bag in the trunk and climbed into the backseat. She gently lifted Marshall's head and placed it in her lap.

"Marshall, can you please look at me."

Marshall lowered his arm off his eyes at the please. It meant Mary was worried.

"I'm fine, I just have a bad headache and am sore. Sorry I snapped at you before."

"I actually deserved it. I should have stopped for the night," Mary said covering Marshall's eyes as he began squinting when the overhead light came on as Stan entered the car.

"Marshall, how are you doing?"

"Sorry Stan, I shouldn't have walked away like that."

"I wasn't worried about that. I'm more concerned about how bad you're injured. We're headed to the hospital and you're going to be checked over completely," Stan said leaving no room for argument.

"Okay," Marshall replied back which caused Mary and Stan both concern.

Stan didn't like the okay part and started the car. Mary and Marshall were a close tie for not wanting to go to the hospital without a long argument. The fact that he wasn't putting up a fight had Stan pushing on the accelerator.

"Marshall, talk to me. I need you to stay awake at least until we get you to the hospital."

"I highly doubt I have a concussion. A goose egg on the side of my head most definitely, since I can feel it. You two are overreacting."

"You didn't put up a fight about the hospital," Stan said, from the front seat.

"It was a moot point. You're going to take me no matter what I say."

"Yes, but you always say something. When have you or I ever gone in quietly to the hospital. It's not good for Stan's heart to change tactics on him now," Mary replied, ignoring the glare from Stan.

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Stan and Mary were impatiently waiting for word on Marshall. Mary had finally taken to pacing back and forth across the floor.

"Mary, relax and sit down. The odds of it being anything serious at this point are probably none. Marshall talked to us the entire way here and was able to answer every insane question that you asked him."

"He's a walking encyclopedia. Why is it I get a little creative and you're calling them insane questions?"

"You were fishing for personal details about your partner while asking questions to try and throw him off. He played you like a fiddle with his answers and you didn't even notice. That not only tells me your worried about him, it tells me I'm dropping the two of you off when he's released so the both of you can get some sleep."

"Marshall wasn't playing me," Mary replied, but started thinking about the answers she got. "Damn it."

Stan just smiled. "When you fill out your paperwork just put that you were trying to avoid an animal in the road. I don't want to have to explain why a little hedgehog caused the destruction of a government owned vehicle."

"Did you honestly think I was going to admit that in writing?"

Stan was about to reply when the doctor walked in.

"How is he doctor?"

"Mostly sore. He has bruises from the seatbelt but there was no internal bleeding. He was sick to his stomach a little while ago, but the test didn't show a concussion. He might have a slight one though. Mr. Mann said that the accident was caused by his partner swerving to miss a hedgehog."

"That would be correct," Stan said, trying to hide his amusement as Mary blushed a lovely shade of red.

"Oh, in that case he has a nasty bump on the side of his head which we have put ice on and gave him ibuprofen for his headache. I would prefer if there was someone with him tonight just in case he feels worse. If that happens I would like him to come back in."

"I'll stay with him," Mary said.

"He should be out in a couple of minutes."

"Thank you," Stan said before the doctor left the room.

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Stan dropped Mary and Marshall off at his house with instructions for Marshall to take the next day off. After Marshall crawled into bed, Mary went and got a glass of water and some Tylenol and put it next to the bed in case Marshall needed it.

Mary then went to change and crawled into bed with Marshall. She turned on her side so she could face him.

"How's the headache?"

"Better. I really am sorry I snapped at you earlier."

"Marshall, don't be. I deserved the lecture. I should have just admitted I was tired and stopped for the night. I know I don't say this often but I'm sorry."

"I know. We'll just call it a bad day."

"Goodnight, Marshall," Mary said placing a kiss to his forehead as she watched him drift off.

Mary stared at him while he slept before finally letting herself go to sleep.

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Two days after the accident Mary strolled into the office with coffee and doughnuts. She dropped them off by Marshall. Stan walked out to grab his. Mary thought it was odd that he hadn't gone back into the office after grabbing his goodies, but shrugged it off.

She noticed the two items on her desk as she booted up the computer. The first was a cactus with a car tread mark going over it and a sign that said road kill attached to it. The second was a stuffed hedgehog which she picked up and threw at Marshall. He of course just moved out of the flying objects path.

"Ha ha. You two are so funny," Mary said, but jumped as her screen came to life and the sound of screeching tires filled the room.

Mary looked up at the monitor in time to see an animated SUV swerving as a hedgehog walked across the road, running over a cactus and stopping before a cliff while playing the Hilly Billy Hedgehog song. It ended with the banner Kill a cactus, save a hedgehog.

"Marshall," Mary called out warningly.

"I have a witness to check on. See you later, Stan." Marshall replied, quickly grabbing his keys and running towards the stairwell with Mary on his tail.

Stan smiled, laughed and headed back to his office. Things were back to what constituted as normal at the Sunshine building.


End file.
